The Hottest Olympian
by Katie
Let’s get objectifyin’! It’s the most fun thing about the Olympics (after the biathlon! Skiing! Shooting! USA! USA!).
Sidney Crosby looks like he’s been hit in the head a few too many times (an unsurprising consequence of being drafted to the NHL at 18) but sweet Jesus. He is a-do-ra-ble, and basically a hockey prodigy.
He’s 22! We could totally make it work. I mean, he could date models or other superhot athletes, or he could date this girl right here. (In the background, on the left.)
Alternate captain to the Canadian Olympic team? Hells yes.
Kind of looks like a jacked Andy Samberg? Yes, please.
Unfortunate attempt at facial hair? Forgivable. (Could I get a book deal if I start a tumblr chronicling dudes who need to give up on their stringy beards? I can think of several.)
Owns an ill-fitting suit, but maybe golden gods don’t need tailors in Canada?
Awkwardfamilyphotos.com and I don’t care how legendary Mario Lemieux is.
Who wants to come watch hockey at my house this week?
I like that nice Canadian moguls fellow who won the moguls.
I am also watching a male figure skater wearing a plaid shirt and overalls (on one shoulder) and he has a patch on his butt that matches his shirt. Nary a sparkle in sight, though, unfortch.
Dad said last night (I think this was a joke) that at one point, they tried to convince hockey players not to wear helmets “so the girls could see them.” I said it would be better if they didn’t wear shirts.
The spectator’s advantage to skiing and other high-speed sports? Spandex.
that’s how i feel about everyone i have a musical and/or intellectual crush on that is famous. hello, zach condon is MY AGE. we should be dating.
Oh man. Don’t even get me started on Zach Condon! http://musicformisanthropes.com/2009/04/11/postcards-from-philadelphia-beirut-at-the-electric-factory/
Not a joke about the helmets in hockey. After years of leaving it up to the individual players (see highlights from the 70′s when the Flyers won two Stanley Cups in a row, Bobby Clarke with long hair and a gap-tooth grin) helmets became regulation. Then the league got a little silly while trying to attract a larger fan base and went back on their rules. Fortunately, saner heads and fewer concussions kept helmets on.
definitely hotter than shakira’s boyfriend.
(i hope you’re prepared for me to make shakira comparisons for the next three weeks.)
Evan Lysacek. Discuss.
http://fuckyeahevanlysacek.tumblr.com/