The Beatles Rock Band: Yay Money

by Michael

As my close friends know, and you know now, I am not the first person in line to give The Beatles praise.  I have been lectured (screamed at) about why I am wrong, but I find most arguments sub-par.  The Beatles are not the be-all, end-all of music, not even for the 50′s and 60′s. If you insist on yelling at me anyway, I will post a rebuttal.

Irregardless (I am aware it isn’t a word, I just love it) (Ed note–siiiiigh), Harmonix is stealing a page from Guitar Hero’s book and making a Beatles-themed Rock Band. Now Michael Jackson will be able to kiss his cash troubles farewell.  Who wouldn’t want a video game where you get to attempt the intricate drum works of Ringo Starr, and the bass is left-handed?  I figure this will go over well for the fair weather fans who will play “I Want To Hold Your Hand“ over and over and wonder why “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” isn’t included, and the die-hards who will play $500 to get every song ever recorded by The Beatles for them to mime along with.

Some Game Features:

• Pete Best is an unlockable character, in as much as if you try to play as him, they kick him out of the band anyway.
• Lead Guitar has a gauge for “getting fed up with not being allowed to express yourself creatively.”  Once the gauge is maxed out, George quits the band, and Eric Clapton is unlocked as a playable character (only lasts a few songs before George is guilted into coming back).
• Some Rolling Stones songs are thrown in there too (who’s gonna notice?).
• If you unlock Yoko Ono, a timer starts, and when it hits 0, the band breaks up and your console explodes.